Pegasus

I love using notepads, even if it means that my work won't be saved if someone accidentally closed it or the computer suddenly restarted or the electricity failed. Notepad is so basic, so simple, not to mention it's the word processor that opens the fastest.

But something happened last night I thought I won't be able to use the notepad unless I reinstall windows. Notepad automatically minimizes itself to the taskbar split second after opening it. I restarted the computer a couple of times, restored it to a point three days back (it wasn't like that a day or two ago but I chose to restore it three days back just to make sure), scanned it with my resident virus scanner, but nothing happened. And then I thought it wasn't a virus because all it did was to minimize my notepads. Would someone make a virus just for minimizing notepads? I don't even think that much people are fond of using notepads. So is the virus intended just for me? Hahaha.

And then I found this (notepad icons really catch my eyes) lonely notepad icon at the root directory of my computer filenamed Pegasus. Funny but I won't save anything at the root directory; my niece won't either. So I started googling the word pegasus. What's hilarious is that my web browser closes itself at the word "pegasus". It won't close if I typed any other word. Just pegasus. Solution: use another computer and search for pegasus. That did the job. And pegasus is really a virus. I found out it even changed the details in the "Registered to" field of my computer. It changed my name to "Black Pegasus" typed in ascii characters.

Again, I would like to thank google for being ever helpful. I found out a downloadable batch file made by someone nicknamed "nokie". And if your notepads minimizes by itself or if you're some horny male looking for the club pegasus's website and your browser suddenly closes, chances are you have the virus. Here's the filefront link to the batch file: http://hosted.filefront.com/nokie/. Download the file Kill_Pegasus.zip.

the one

Does happiness really depend on having a "partner"? What if one opts to be single for the rest of his life? What if he thinks he is happier without a partner? Would that mean he won't be happy ever?

Happiness comes from many sources. But it's sad how most of the things surrounding us imply that happiness is synonymous to having a partner.

Like I was enjoying the movie Crazy/Beautiful until the main character delivered her last line (in narration):

"There are millions of people out there, but in the end it all comes down to one."

Thank You

Life is beautiful. There are so many things we should be thankful for - the air that we breathe, the food that we eat... Cliche. Enough of that. But seriously I have a number of things to be thankful for this day.

1. I have gotten over my ex. We're good friends now. I think that helped a lot.

2. Ramiele Malubay got into the Top 12 of American Idol. I'm a racist. I love my own race.

3. I discovered this cute little y8.com game called Penguin Diner (which took most of my time today). Sometimes, it is good to indulge in things that are not so complicated. I lurv the game.

4. I was able to talk calmly to a telemarketer offering me insurance. I just wonder why he has my credit card details. (This is more of an accomplishment than something to be thankful for but I still want to include this.)

5. Nothing seriously bad happened to my mother when she stumbled upon something and fell down on all fours in front of the Meralco office. We are all sad about it and worried about letting her go out alone after that. I guess we won't let her without any chaperone anymore.

Nag-iisa, Wala Ka Na

Nag-iisa, Wala Ka Na by Noel Cabangon

I am now a Noel Cabangon fan. This is the song I emote to whenever I need emoting. The song's about the pain of losing a beloved, and acceptance of the harsh reality. The song - the melody, the vocals - is so sad that you would want to cuddle up with someone and promise forever (at least that's how I feel like doing whenever I hear it). The last stanza adds more emotion when it promises eternal love.

The Little Prince

I was forced to read The Little Prince. I know the story as a child. But when you have to summarize the thing, you would like to re-read it in order to be precise. And re-read it most especially when you have to make a reaction paper about it. I hate making book reports. I'm done with that. But there's this friend I can't say no to. He's already cramming - you know how students cram when the sem's nearing its end. And I (once again) played the Good Samaritan.

No regrets, though. I enjoyed re-reading the book.

"What's essential is not visible to the naked eye."

Really, that is so true.

Pain or More Pain?

The heart and mind don't really forget. The intensity of the feeling just lightens and (in case of bad/sad memories) the pain becomes bearable, but it never goes away. Sometimes, the pain becomes bearable just because we become so used to it. Not that getting used to it lessens the pain, it just makes the pain bearable.

Just recently I was faced with a situation where I had to choose between (1) pain and (2) more pain. The first option will give me pain immediately after making the decision, while the second one will let me be happy for a while (only God knows how long that while is) before giving me tremendous heartache. Number 2 is very tricky, too, for there's a 20% chance that it would give me not pain but happiness. The other 80%, though, is sure pain. If I have the strongest faith in the world and I know how to practice the Law of Attraction so it would really 100% work on me, then perhaps I would have chosen number 2. But then I'm the melodramatic type of person. I like to think of life's dramas when I'm in an emotional mood, and with it comes the drama of breakups and heartaches. Law of Attraction will surely not work on me in a positive way on the situation.

I didn't really have to make the decision right away. I even had an option to prolong the decision-making, likewise prolonging my heart's bliss. But reality told me that the more I give in to the bliss, the more painful it will become. And so I made the decision of putting an end to the drama the first of this month. I chose number 1. Number 2 just won't do for me. I hate playing "what if's".

The Swan Song

I just hope Ramiele Malubay makes it to at least the top 5. As Simon puts it, she's among the top 3 singers in the competition, vocal wise. But the competition is also about performance and connection with the audience. I don't know what rank she lands on with that.

Singing the swan song really makes me admire those contestants being voted out. If I were the contestant whose name was announced, well unless I was told beforehand that it was me, I don't really think I would be able to open my mouth to make a sound even close to singing. I would just be frozen right there at the center of the stage. Frozen until I could finally form the words cursing those who didn't vote for me.

So rude of me. But I don't think I can handle the hurt in that short span of time after my name was announced until before they make me sing for the last time on the contest stage. What's the purpose anyway? What if the voice breaks out due to the tension of being voted out? Isn't it putting more embarrassment on the voted-out contestant? Talking about rubbing it in.